The time of thanking approaches. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. There is no stress, the turkey is always the right size, the right color, the most up to date model, and you don't have to save the tags. Yes it does require getting up very early to start cooking but that is not a burden, it is a joy. The day flows seamlessly from one task to another, I get to use all of the mysterious cooking tools that I have accumulated and the ultimate reward, watching people that you love eat food that you have prepared, is soon followed by a nice nap.
There are so many things to be thankful for. I have a place to live, freedom from pain, a full belly, a warm place to sleep, and peace in my heart. The town that I live in is a simple place, populated with unpretentious people, with timeless values. There is a gentle acceptance of everything that permeates the town and the people. Maybe it is something in the water. The town is a collage of different opinions and ethnicities that produce a roux of peace, with no strident views or prejudices curdling the sauce.
As I lay in bed last night, I tried to make a list of all of the things that I am thankful for. The list grew larger and larger and suddenly I found the thing to be most thankful for. The answer to my years long striving with the concept of God. Pascal defined the issue and the question and possible outcomes of belief or denial.
I was thanking for the things in my life when a realization came over me with warmth and reassurance. This is my God. I don't want to share, for in the end there will be only two, facing each other. This is not God 4.0 with all of the bells and whistles and options that the concept has accumulated. This is the same God born of sitting by a fire at the mouth of a cave, staring at the malevolent eyes shining in the dark, and being overwhelmed by the beauty and majesty of the stars. This is the same God that brought such hope and reassurance when the Sun began to rise earlier each day. I will not preach in the street to bring others to my view. I do not want them here. I will walk with the Diety by my side, talk to the diety, and we will be like Elwood and Harvey.
My life is so full. I have the love of four people accompanying me everywhere, and I have the answer to a question that has long vexed me. I don't know if God exists or not but I know one thing. God exists for me because I want God to exist. The feeling that I get each evening when I lie down and give thanks is unmatchable. I don't pray or worship, I just give thanks. T'is the season for such.
There are so many things to be thankful for. I have a place to live, freedom from pain, a full belly, a warm place to sleep, and peace in my heart. The town that I live in is a simple place, populated with unpretentious people, with timeless values. There is a gentle acceptance of everything that permeates the town and the people. Maybe it is something in the water. The town is a collage of different opinions and ethnicities that produce a roux of peace, with no strident views or prejudices curdling the sauce.
As I lay in bed last night, I tried to make a list of all of the things that I am thankful for. The list grew larger and larger and suddenly I found the thing to be most thankful for. The answer to my years long striving with the concept of God. Pascal defined the issue and the question and possible outcomes of belief or denial.
I was thanking for the things in my life when a realization came over me with warmth and reassurance. This is my God. I don't want to share, for in the end there will be only two, facing each other. This is not God 4.0 with all of the bells and whistles and options that the concept has accumulated. This is the same God born of sitting by a fire at the mouth of a cave, staring at the malevolent eyes shining in the dark, and being overwhelmed by the beauty and majesty of the stars. This is the same God that brought such hope and reassurance when the Sun began to rise earlier each day. I will not preach in the street to bring others to my view. I do not want them here. I will walk with the Diety by my side, talk to the diety, and we will be like Elwood and Harvey.
My life is so full. I have the love of four people accompanying me everywhere, and I have the answer to a question that has long vexed me. I don't know if God exists or not but I know one thing. God exists for me because I want God to exist. The feeling that I get each evening when I lie down and give thanks is unmatchable. I don't pray or worship, I just give thanks. T'is the season for such.
2 comments:
thanks for your encouraging words.
if not the cummin, then what? it was probably delicious, you seem a hard self critic. :)
what a beautiful revelation about God.
I remember once not believing in God, and it was a road scholar professor who pointed to the autum trees...and said, "chance? that would take more faith".
I wanted to believe in a God so I felt relieved to give myself permission to.
I just highly doubt, like your writings, that he looks anything remotely like what the preachers on the corner screaming about are saying. maybe to them, but thankfully, I believe that we are all made in His image- so he is a pretty diversified being.
Have a wonderful thanksgiving. Now I am off to make cornucopia breads with my children...the moments that I am most grateful for.
I can't reveal my secret ingredient for chili. I will say that it is really hard to get this far from Groundhog Day.
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