Domani

There are times when I am happy with myself. There are times when I am not. Lately there are a lot more nots then ares.
I am used to failure. I have failed at many things over my life. My Brother has called me Gunner. "I'm gunner do this and I'm gunner do that.".
My latest failure is despicable to me. I constantly tell myself that I am going to do a certain very important thing and then, day after day, just keep putting it off. I have had two weeks to prepare for a certain very important thing and have just kept putting off and putting off the preparations. I will have to scurry around and scurry around today to prepare.
I was going to do the preparation yesterday but my Brother called and took me to the grocery store. It was difficult for him to get here as there is no place to park on the street. The snow is piled three feet high on either side of the road and the driveway is still deep in snow. Luckily he has four wheel drive and was able to reach the base of the driveway. I could not pass up a chance to overstuff the larder.
So I missed the chance to do the preparation yesterday. I am preparing for a visit by my dear, dear, daughter and her lovely family. I am concerned about the snow and the possibility that they will not have anywhere to put their car but I so much want to see her.
Failure has become the deciding influence in my life. I used to accept it as part of my make-up but in this incident I find myself despicable. Three people want to come and see me. My first-born, dear to my heart and mind, her so very admirable husband, and their brilliant and charming son.
So I am going to try to change. I am tired of living so far away from people and those that I love. I am going to try to change the way that I constantly put things off. I'm gunner do this. It is surprising that any human being would want to see me but I have read that they recently watched a movie called "Despicable Me" and that might have inspired them to think of Me.