Introspector Cluceaux

It comes often lately, reviewing my life and behavior. Last night I spent several hours wondering how I could have become such a fool when I had an oustanding example to follow. Loves gone wrong, aspirations fizzling out through being too lazy to do anything about them, potentials withering due to lack of purpose, the list goes on and on. The personal ethical code that my Father so deeply exercised seems to have meant nothing to me. I cheated, I lied, I stole, I was a downright rotter.
This morning I was up before dawn. As the Sun arose, it began to snow. It was not just a light snow, it was falling hard and the wind was blowing fiercely.
I noticed that there was no congregation of birds in the cedar tree, as there usually is in the morning. I began to be concerned about the birds. There were many robins yesterday. How can a robin, the harbinger of Spring, survive a Winter blast? I started to consider how I could be of help to them.
Then it hit, introspection! I was not concerned about the people who might be out in this blast. I was not concerned about the homeless people who might be shivering in a cardbord box. I was thinking about the birds.
What an unfeeling dolt I have become. I was not always like this. I still weep when reading a sad book and feel bad when I see children walking to school without warm clothing but I have little feeling for the people of Haiti or Afghanistan. I once cared about the human race but now seem only concerned about things that directly effect me.
The only thing that I am really proud of is that I once had a small part to play in the raising of three wonderful children. I used to pat myself on the back about how wonderful and talented they all turned out. Introspection tuned in and I realized that all that I did was go to work to provide and their wonderful Mother is the reason that they turned out so special. She made them aware of literature, made sure that they did their homework, fed them nutritious meals and a diet of human kindness. I simply provided the vittles.
The introspection is good for me. It helps me to realize that all the pumped up pride that I have always had is not justified. There is more to life than knowing the answers to the questions on Jeopardy. So I will say goodbye to Grendal and the formula for voltage drop on co-axial cable and try to remember the phrase that my children's Mother instilled in them so many times. "Mankind is our business.". Yes He has, Tim.