Yesterday was a dismal failure for me. My daughter from Florida called. I had not heard from her in quite some time. I was napping on the couch when she called. I was thrilled to hear her voice but I was a little buzzy from the nap and couldn't think of anything relevant to say. I am not usually at a loss for words.
Her voice was full of its usual vibrancy and joy. The conversation soon degraded into "The weather here is cool.", "The weather here is also.".
How my life has fallen into a state of routine, dull, repetition. How could I not think of things to say to this child who has always fascinated me with her incise comments and joy of living? Lives are not just separated by distance. They are separated by age and circumstance and attitude. I miss the sparkling repetoire we used to share. It is a loss of more than words. Care for her and love for her and respect for her will always be in my heart but they seem to have withered on my tongue. Dear Sweet Hanna-Boo, you are always on my mind, what is left of it.
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2 comments:
Dear Professor Maudlin,
Does it help at all that I had to backtrack for a few minutes to remember that our conversation happened yesterday and not tonight? I'm all graveyard shift wacky, takes three days to undo, and I go back to work on the fourth. Update, everything is great here, everyone is healthy and fine, and selfishly, I just today put a down payment on a horse(after two full years of renting here, I must say, and she costs less than my July electric bill), and feel a little guilty because it's less money I can spend on Christmas, however, it is more money than I have spent on clothing/shoes/health care for myself in the last 6 years. And, AJ is a very excited avid rider(no one else cares), so it's a little bit for him ,but mostly, I got a horse! I got my horse Daddy!!!!I live on a farm and I got a horse,and it only took me 36 years to get here, and all I have to do is stay awake all weekend! Life is good!
You got your horse!!! You have waited so long with that yearning in your heart. Congratulations Sweetheart.
Did I detect an "I Must Say" in the comment? Do you have a poster of Pat Sejack on your wall?
all of my love to you and your family, always,
daddy
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