Sauce

The sauce got made. There are three quarts of it in the freezer, one quart got eaten last night. It never comes out as good as my brother's but that is because he has my Mother's recipe and I am sure that I could get a kidney from him if I needed it but never the sauce or meatball recipe. I am worried about him. He has always been a gentle, caring soul but time has not been kind to him. Since we were boys, he has been a tower of physical strength and common sense but time and the intense life he has led are slowly eroding the resources he built up. I don't think he realizes what a wonderful person he is.
I am also worried about my daughters, for the same reason. I don't think they realize what wonderful people they are. They each seem to push themselves to the limits of their incredible abilities and beyond. Beyond those limits lies only disappointment and self doubt. They must get that drive from their Mother. That incredible woman was always pushing the boundaries. I am like flotsam on the sea of life, drifting where the current and winds will take me. Life drifts by, I am confident of my abilities but never test them. I do test them in the kitchen but am frequently disappointed. Those abilities, of which I was so proud, are slowly fading away. I notice that Spellcheck occasionally pops into what I type. That would never have happened in the past. There are things that I can't remember for a moment. They come back but the retrieval is not instantaneous as it used to be. I find myself checking my math with a calculator.
The pure, exuberant, confidence of youth is gone. We are left with the husks of pride. But husks float and that is a good thing for flotsam. To each of my loved ones, you are wonderful people. Experience the joy of being with you. I do. When you reach a limit, glory in the distance you have come, not the grapes hanging above you. Bask in the achievement of 18, not the wall of 18-1.