Sadurday

Yesterday was sad. Lidia was a big bust. She made bean soup with two kinds of beans, spelt, and mussels. It looked like porridge although I am sure it tasted wonderful. Gourmet was organic, authentic, Chinese cooking. It looked wonderful but I don't think that I can readily find organic rat's moustache in Uxbridge. America's Test Kitchen was St. Louis ribs but I missed half of the show. They were very appealing.
After two hours of staring at the cyclops in the corner, I turned it off and made American chop suey. It takes a while as I am persnickety about the ingredients. I ground some beef, I used a quart of the sauce from the freezer, fried onions, garlic, and green peppers. I used Red Pack whole tomatoes in puree. Cook's Illustrated is right. They are better than Italian plum tomatoes and cheaper. I boiled up some elbow macaroni and supper was done.
After eating I sat for a while in front of a window and watched the snow fall outside. I may have sat too long but there is a fascination with watching snow fall as plumes of smoke and steam rise from the chimneys of the neighbors. The contrast of a cold outside and a warm inside are somehow reassuring. It reminds me of the feeling I got when I first read about Bag End. Living in a warm burrow with a well stocked larder makes Bilbo's choice of leaving that for a cold, treacherous journey even more heroic. Frodo made the same choice, even though I don't think the larder was as important to him. I often think of what Bilbo said about stepping out of the front door. I stepped out at eighteen years of age and, as I reflect on it now, regret doing it. There were adventures and marvels to see but it disengaged me from my family and I lost a connection I now remember tenderly. The past is immutable, the future hasn't happened yet, and only the present can be altered. Messing with the present usually leads to a future of: "What was I thinking? Boy I wish I had never done that. I should have left well enough alone.". The confidence of youth is gone, there is only the caution of age which was brought on by the ill-advised brashness of youth. Sitting by the window and staring out can lead to too much thinking.
I thought of the two books that captured my heart the most. Long ago Peter Pan and The Jungle Book ensnared a young boy, sitting in his room, bored and feeling worthless, and inspired him with the idea that a journey could lead to adventure and fullfilment. I should have had Bilbo's warning then but the journey saved my life. It also resulted in getting from Smaug three precious gifts.