A plethora of meatballs

Once more I face my nemesis, the closed loop system of tomato sauce and meatballs. Several days ago I made spaghetti and meatballs. To say that I am a little bit anal about the sauce and meatballs is similar to saying that King Kong was a little bit monkey!

1. I crush the tomatoes myself, as I only use whole plum tomatoes packed in juice not puree or sauce, and they are the only product that does not have the calcium in them to promote crunchiness.
2. I make my own bread crumbs as I always have at least one loaf of day old French or Italian bread on hand.
3. I grind my own hamburger from a small roast beef and some pork. Hamburger from the market scares me and by making my own I can add a teaspoon of unflavored gelatin to the egg and therefore not have to add veal.
4. This results in a lot of meatballs therefore I make about a gallon of tomato sauce. Tomatoes, onion, basil, some crushed red pepper flakes, olive oil, salt, about a cup of minced garlic, and some tomato paste and sugar get everything rolling. One half cup of Chianti, reduced in a sauce pan first, and then the entire thing simmers for about four hours. The meatballs go in during the last thirty minutes as they have already been browned in a skillet. For hours to wait and sit in the kitchen reading. Hmmm, is that an almost full bottle of Chianti sitting over there? Don't be lonely, come over here and sit by me.
Now the problem starts. I eat spaghetti and meatballs for about three days. At this point I have quite a few meatballs left and very little sauce. The solution is easy, make more sauce. Now I have a lot of sauce and not many meatballs left. The solution is easy, make more meatballs. Now I have____________!
I have another theory, I have a lot of them, in Italy, at Christmas time, they must give meatballs instead of fruitcake. I am sure that there must be meatballs circulating out there that graced the plate of Caesar. No, that can't be right as they did not have tomatoes in Caesar's day and no person in their right mind would make a gallon of garum masala. It would be better to purchase a jar of Nuoc Mam instead. Of course to do that they would have had to journey to Vietnam, introduce christianity, set up a western style system of government, pacify the countryside, and even the Romans would see the folly in that! The Romans were well aware of the danger of meatballs. They were also aware of the dangers of HAVING A MEATBALL IN CHARGE! Those who do not read history are doomed to repeat it.
The Romans also had a unique way of dealing with their Republicans, they killed them all and went on to enjoy the Pax Romana, a thousand years of relative peace. I read that.