Good Day

Yesterday was a good day. I went for a walk in the gentle sparse snow. It was not very cold out. The mega-blizzard that was predicted failed to appear. We got a lot of rain here and the snow on the ground has largely disappeared. The river is about two feet above its normal level and the pulsating sound as it tumbles over the dam is mesmerizing. The light coming from it is almost stroboscopic.
I have had vegetable beef soup on my mind for some time. I made pork, beans, onions, and garlic instead. It was quite tasty. I will try the soup today but I am sure it will be as lackluster as my soup usually is. All of those wonderful ingredients blended together in a barely edible combination, what a waste and disappointment. Perhaps I will add a little more salt. I rarely use salt in anything but a thought has come to mind. My French darling used to say "Kissing a man without a moustache is like soup without salt.". The soup that I make doesn't have a moustache but maybe it needs salt. She was a maestro of soup. At least once a week she would clean out the refrigerator and cupboards and make wonderful soup. If you were walking through the kitchen when she was making soup, you had to keep moving or there was ablution in your future. To sit at the table on a cold winter day and have hot soup, bread, and cheese was heaven. Now heaven has heavenly soup. I am sure that the Elysian Fields are now heavily planted with onions and leeks. Rest easy La Petite Anglais. There must be Gruyere in heaven and crusty bagettes.
Sleep was disturbing last night. A litany of all of my transgressions in life kept waking me up. I have disappointed many people that I love. I didn't mean to disappoint them. Each day I tried to do what I felt was best. Unfortunately what I thought was best was often the worst choice that I could have made, so I ask foregiveness and understanding from my loved ones. As for those who are not loved ones "Tellwiddem". Men have failings. Some men have only a few and some have many. I have amassed enough failings to open up a park called "Failureland".
Once more I will try to be a good person but I know myself. I will find some wayward path to disappointment and follow it with a certainty that it is the best way. That will make all of the difference. I have done the best that I was capable of but my best is not very good.