I have just read the latest comment. It brought to mind many thoughts. The term "non-violent Fathers" made me chuckle. Why doesn't the book use the term "Normal Fathers" instead? I thought back on how I became that way.
I was raised by a Swedish Father. He was a giant of a man and well known to be the toughest and most gentle man in town. Swedes have to deal with their propensity for violence all of their lives. It is something that must always be held in check as, if it is ever unleashed, well the term beserker is Swedish.
My Father sat me down one day and explained the rules of life to me. He never explained women to me as I think that they were a life-long mystery to him.
The Rules of life
1. You can't hit children or threaten a child. It just isn't done. (In Sweden you can go to jail for striking a child.)
2. You can't hit women. ( My Mother was Irish and used to regularly pound on my Father and he would just sit there like Rodin's Thinker and absorb whatever was being handed out.). I remember asking him once why we put up with such irrational behavior and he said "Because some day you are leaving and I have to stay.).
3. You can't hit little guys because it is not fair.
4. You can hit big guys but you will learn to not do that. It took me two front teeth to learn that.
5. If you get angry, go for a walk. If you are still angry when you get home, you didn't walk far enough
Someday Sweetheart, when you and I are alone, I will explain to you why I was, and still am, so proud of you. Your name was not an accident.
Swedes are only afraid of two things, other Swedes and the possible extinction of herring,
all of my love to you and your family, always, daddy
2 comments:
well, i am frankly feeling like a voyeur reading here...
not meaning to get into your very personal stuff...
isn't it ironic that they've moved on to blaming fathers?
it's been the mother's fault for so long now...
and especially the single mother.
ahhh. when will the folks realize- it isn't about fault?
it is what it is.
some children are the way the are because of the way they are made.
I was disturbed to view a tv news report about a 6 year old boy that took his parents car, crashed it, all because he was late for school.
the part that disturbed me?
the parents were arrested for risk of injury to minor, negligence and so on.....
wow. and in Virginia where I thought boys were still boys :)
I did think, where were the parents, but I KNOW what it is like when you have kids going in different directions propelled by their own little wills.
and here in our lovely state, a boy was missing. an 11 year old boy ran away from home, slept in a boat down on the shoreline over night in the ice storm...
and when he was found? the news reports that the police contacted the state to investigate why a child would need to run away from home- they wanted to make certain the home enviroment was safe-
hmm.. don't 11 year old boys sometimes run away because they don't like boundaries?
ok maybe I'm nuts, but I think this blaming thing has gone too far...
especially those writing books and making money off it.
I am laughing very very hard at your wisdom....
can you imagine?
being stoned sounds like a wonderful idea for a new religion- let's build the temples!
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