Wednesday, November 2, 2011

The Wonderer

When I was young, I used to wonder "What will become of me?". All that I wanted was a family and to become a marine biologist. Now I wonder "How could this have all happened?". I got the family but I broke it. I gave up on the biologist thing and took a dull repetitive job to make the family work. I looked forward to gravitas but I did not give up my childish ways.
I still have dreams but I have given up on dreaming. The days are dwindling down but the fire of the boy is still an ember in my mind. The mind is filled with ashes but there is still the glow of what could be. "Que sera, sera.". A small home, a large piece of land, a stocked larder, a woodstove, and my family around me are the things of the dreams but they no longer press on my mind. It is unwise to press the mind for it might eliminate the wrinkles and the wrinkles are where the glow is. To have dreams without dreaming is to say "I wanted more but I will take what is coming and be glad of it. It has been a good run.".

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