Lately

Lately I have been trying to meditate. The concept seems so easy, just concentrate on one thing. The time I choose to do this is when I am in a horizontal position. I like to call this my pre-nap thinking. The thinking rattles around in my mind like a marble in a boxcar. Think about one thing only, I find that almost impossible to do. Thoughts about the present and the past and the future announce their presence in a cacaphony of images and ideas.
Last night I started thinking about thinking. Why can't I just think about one thing? Why do I want to meditate? It is not as if my life is filled with crisis and confusion. I live very simply. I do what I want, when I want, and if I want. I cook, I read, I walk, and here is the culprit, I watch television. I watch PBS and Two and a Half Men.
PBS, slowly I turned, step by step...... PBS is the problem. They constantly deal with the brain and yoga and meditation and the need to address the vagaries of modern living. What vagaries, I live like people did three hundred years ago. I have no pressing needs or worrisome tribulations, my life is just easing on down the road counting each moment that avoids that long grey night as a bonus. PBS is not good for me. There should be more Two and a Half Men. Charlie has the right idea about life. Wouldn't we all be happy to live his life? Unfortunately I am not like Charlie. I am very much like his brother Alan. Silly misgivings and remembrances and lamenting the past are constantly on my mind. Dealing with such thoughts will not be accomplished by meditation. I must learn to deal with such thoughts by telling them, to paraphrase the Poet, "Out damned thought!". Sure, like that is going to work! I just tried to concentrate on that one thought and the image of Durham forest on the move rushed in. That brings on the thought of transplanting the tomatoes, which I accomplished yesterday. So the kaleidoscope of images and thoughts will continue. I am used to it and it is an old and welcome friend. Lay On McThought! Does Dunsinane have enough tomatoes? I have more than enough cilantro if it needs some. Do Spanish Mothers threaten to wash out their children's mouth with cilantro if they use bad language?
Meditate, sure, there is a lot of hope in that direction. Yoga, if I need more exercise I will move further away from the library and take out bigger books. Daniel Amen, you are a wimpy little self-promoting book seller. You are very smart and great but you already know that.