On Toast

Once again the pundits are all crying "The people are voting for the anti-Washington D.C. candidates.". Once again the same old crap is being touted as the national fervor and once again the candidates are all spouting "I am against big government and Washington D.C..". Once again the American people are wolfing down empty hors d'ourve. The main course will come when that candidate gets to Washington D.C.. The menu will have changed, it will be business as usual, and the candidate will fall asleep each night dreaming dreams of moving into government housing on Pennsylvania Avenue. To do that the candidate must raise huge amounts of money for their campaign fund. That money doesn't come from food co-ops or organic farms or homeless shelters. It comes from the endless all-you-can-eat buffets that lobbyists put out in the bulging Washington D.C. trough. When the meal is finally over, here comes the dessert. When the candidate retires from public office, the candidate gets to keep all of the money that is in the campaign fund. Sort of a multi-million dollar doggie bag.
Solutions? I don't know if there are any. No matter how the electorate trys to limit the system, the system is controlled by very smart people who will always find a way around it. I do have a few suggestions.
1. Put all politicians on a diet. No more banquets. You must dine at the automat. A limit of $100 dollar contributions from anyone reistered to vote and no corporations or committees are allowed to contribute. $100 times the American population of registered voters is quite a lot of funds. Once a campaign fund reaches a certain limit, no more funds are allowed to be added to it. Thus the older solons will have no incentive to accumulate more and the power of contributions might be limited. Thus the head of a committe will have the interest of the electorate on their mind rather than the interest of a huge multi-national conglomerate. Can you imagine the rush to get all of the undocumented resident immigrants made into citizens so that they can register to vote?
2. Dressing. Now that the politicians are eating from the salad bar instead the To-Hell-With_The-Country Buffet, they will be reminded of a simple fact. Just after oxygen, the thing that we can't live without is water. Oil and water don't mix! Oil and vinegar do. America must learn to swallow the bitter draught of a lot less oil or spend more time taking notice of the water.
3. Going to the rest room. Even birds, with their tiny little brains, know that you don't crap where you eat. The rest room is where you wash your hands of your past activities and head back out to finish your salad. The dressing of the salad may be bitter and sour but take a sip of fresh, clean water and things will seem better. Have a nice meal of good, clean, fish or mussels. Still there will be the traditional Washington meal of lobster and caviar, on toast. The rest of us will dine of our traditional electoral meal of:
S. O. S. on Toast and gobble it down like an ambrosial campaign promise.

P.S. A note to all politicians. The clean, fresh, water is an instant way to extinguish the inferno that is your trousers. While dining at Chez Congess, make sure that the Maitre'D's pockets are not bulging with fifties from guests from out of town that did not have a reservation (B.P.?) and make sure that the Chef in the clean White Kitchen has clean hands.