Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Big Plans
I have big plans for today, big for me at least. I awakened at 2am and could not get back to sleep. Today I will clean. It is a little cool and misty outside and I have no reason to go out. Yesterday's walk was much longer than usual so I will pass on that. I feel like making bread and lasagna. I haven't made pasta in quite some time and I still have the machine. I haven't got any semolina flour but all purpose works fine. I resolve to not watch television today. It has been several days since the last time but it is difficult to ignore the couch's siren song. I am infested with ladybugs. I know they lost their house in the fire but couldn't some of them find another place to stay? They are only in the bedroom, where they spend the day crawling up and down the window until they expire. Maybe I should change my socks, it's close enough to May. So much to do and so little time, the days are just packed.
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Taskless
Yesterday was a days full of enigmas. I went for a walk with no intended destination. I haven't done that since I lived in Winthrop. I felt an urge to have bacon and eggs for breakfast so I cooked them. It is a breakfast I have not had in quite some time. I did not watch the cooking shows on PBS. Foodies are in danger of becoming like wine aficianados. It has always amused me when I read that a certain wine is wonderful because it has hints of flint, tobacco, and oak. Yum Yum! So does gunpowder.
I decided to try meditating. I guess the idea is to try to concentrate on one thing. How can that happen? Every time I try, my mind is racing with myriad thoughts and memories. The wheels are always turning. The only time I ever remember being able to do that was when I was learning real time editing. Extraneous thoughts would lead to a loss of concentration and had to be eliminated.
I awoke in the middle of the night and, to my surprise, the answer to the question of the last two days was not there. I seem to remember that refugees were carrying their idol because it could not walk on its feet of clay. Mixed in are flashes of feet of clay and jewels all smashed up. I looked in the Book and found references to the refugees. The other reference comes from Daniel. The mental RPMs redlined. The Babylonians called their idol Bel, which became Marduk. Early Canaanites and maybe Hebrews reference El. Could that have become Elohim? B is hard to carve in stone so just the E and the L may have sufficed. It did for Scandinavian runes. That lead to further rumblings of gray matter. Sanskrit Deus to Zeus to Deux. Back came the memory of an Arthur C. Clarke story about the names of God, a Tibetan monastery, and a computer. Up in the night sky the stars were slowly winking out. Concentrate on one thing? SUUURE!
So I got up this morning and awoke my dear companion Netscape. There it was "Moses was on drugs on Mount Sinai!". I have read a lot about Moses and feel that Moses is the most pitiable figure in the Book. He goes up on one mountain and meets the most powerful force in the universe, omnipotent and incapable of failure. He takes on a task that he feels is doomed to failure. On his way to Egypt, that homicidal deity tries to kill him and fails. How would you feel if you were the only one that was a witness to to that failure? He leads his people out of Egypt but not before they manage to get a whole lot of stuff from the Egyptians. "Where did you get that stuff?". "Someone gave it to me.". Why did the Egyptians chase them? Maybe they wanted their stuff back. Then his brother and his sister start trying to grab some of his job. He goes up on another mountain, sounds like a nice way to get away from squabbling siblings and stiff necked looters. He comes down with stone tablets, he and his brother the stone carver. Is there a B in Aramaic? He has to wear a veil all the time and the rules seem to have a lot of references to how leprosy will be handled. He finally gets close to where he is going and he is not allowed to go there. Forty years of tramping through the landscape and no respite. One last thing comes to mind. What would the world be like now if instead of saying "Take off your shoes!", the deity had said "Recite!"?
Sure Nils, all you have to do is concentrate on one thing. Is a lobotomy covered by my medical plan?
I decided to try meditating. I guess the idea is to try to concentrate on one thing. How can that happen? Every time I try, my mind is racing with myriad thoughts and memories. The wheels are always turning. The only time I ever remember being able to do that was when I was learning real time editing. Extraneous thoughts would lead to a loss of concentration and had to be eliminated.
I awoke in the middle of the night and, to my surprise, the answer to the question of the last two days was not there. I seem to remember that refugees were carrying their idol because it could not walk on its feet of clay. Mixed in are flashes of feet of clay and jewels all smashed up. I looked in the Book and found references to the refugees. The other reference comes from Daniel. The mental RPMs redlined. The Babylonians called their idol Bel, which became Marduk. Early Canaanites and maybe Hebrews reference El. Could that have become Elohim? B is hard to carve in stone so just the E and the L may have sufficed. It did for Scandinavian runes. That lead to further rumblings of gray matter. Sanskrit Deus to Zeus to Deux. Back came the memory of an Arthur C. Clarke story about the names of God, a Tibetan monastery, and a computer. Up in the night sky the stars were slowly winking out. Concentrate on one thing? SUUURE!
So I got up this morning and awoke my dear companion Netscape. There it was "Moses was on drugs on Mount Sinai!". I have read a lot about Moses and feel that Moses is the most pitiable figure in the Book. He goes up on one mountain and meets the most powerful force in the universe, omnipotent and incapable of failure. He takes on a task that he feels is doomed to failure. On his way to Egypt, that homicidal deity tries to kill him and fails. How would you feel if you were the only one that was a witness to to that failure? He leads his people out of Egypt but not before they manage to get a whole lot of stuff from the Egyptians. "Where did you get that stuff?". "Someone gave it to me.". Why did the Egyptians chase them? Maybe they wanted their stuff back. Then his brother and his sister start trying to grab some of his job. He goes up on another mountain, sounds like a nice way to get away from squabbling siblings and stiff necked looters. He comes down with stone tablets, he and his brother the stone carver. Is there a B in Aramaic? He has to wear a veil all the time and the rules seem to have a lot of references to how leprosy will be handled. He finally gets close to where he is going and he is not allowed to go there. Forty years of tramping through the landscape and no respite. One last thing comes to mind. What would the world be like now if instead of saying "Take off your shoes!", the deity had said "Recite!"?
Sure Nils, all you have to do is concentrate on one thing. Is a lobotomy covered by my medical plan?
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Presents
Rix got a present Sunday and so did Nils. Nils's present was seeing Kristen. Rix may enjoy being with me but not as much as I enjoy being with him. It is just like being with Kristen when she was that age. The same easiness, the same niceness, and the same mind constantly observing and working. Walking along holding the hand of a little blond human being, a blessing I have had four times in my life. Five times if I count my brother, who was once little if one can believe that. I watched Rix's mind work as he took the word train and put different letters in the beginning to make new words. He didn't do it with Playskool letters on a refrigerator, he did it with his mind. It reminded me of our adventures with Sammy the Snake. He will have no problem with mathematics, he already has the tools. No man stands taller than when he stoops to take the hand of a child. Kristen, not even two years old, calling out the letters S and P from the salt and pepper shakers. Kristen, calling out the word exit from a sign in a store. Memories etched in my mind. Poor Alan, he is going to be up late at night finding out why the sky is blue because the question is coming. It came for me three times but knowing Alan the answer is already there. Then there will be FACTORING, the dreaded factoring. Daddies have to know or at least pretend that they do, it's their job. It isn't any easier when Mommy already knows. Alan will find that out. Watching a child marvel at the display of light from a prism. The good days go too fast and soon will come a bicycle and then a car and Daddy is no longer sought out for answers, Daddy is simply Mr. Know-it-all. The wrinkles from the peas are now on Daddy's brow. The saddest day is the first day the child gets onto a school bus, for that is the beginning of the journey on which the child learns that Daddy has the feet of a Babylonian god. I was lucky, mine never did, he always knew. He sat up many nights explaining things to me that I was sure he could never understand because it was the NEW mathematics. New, as in Newton? Walk with me, down the road of history. Hear the symphony whose theme, is the song of Man.
Monday, March 31, 2008
A day to remember
Yesterday was a day that I hope I will long remember. The Sun shone and my heart was at peace. I got to see three people that I love and respect. I watched a young man deal with surprise and disappointment in a way we should all emulate. When he was surprised, joy and happiness beamed forth from him. When he was disappointed, I am not sure he was disappointed but an older more jaded person would have been, he just accepted it and moved on. There was no whining and crying and wheedling. He showed me how to make a snowman in the house. I finally made something that seemed to please a cook whose opinion is important to me. Her husband concurred and that boy really knows cooking. Thank you Lidia! I found a walking companion whose pace is the same as mine, a pace similar to an arthritic snail. On our walk we met a friend of mine. My friend later remarked "Your wife must be beautiful, for your daughter certainly didn't get it from you.". It was a day full of joy with no disappointment.
I awoke in the middle of the night with an answer I have long sought. Why should I believe in God? I have read and studied for so long and where is the proof? God gets nothing if a drudge like me believes. The answer came. I believe because I want to believe. It feels so good to believe. It is a reason that Pascal overlooked. I still don't know about all of the other trappings of religion but the basic premise is there for me. I think the answer came from Kristen. I asked her several questions, about things I have been pondering, and the answers she gave were crystal clear. She is aware of all of the alternatives that exist and has gone right to the gist of the whole subject. I believe because I want to!
I am concerned for all three of my daughters. They seem to share a common complication. Their lives are so busy. They seem to share their Mother's attention to detail, never glossing over a problem but addressing it immediately until it is solved. Not like their father whose philosophy seems to be "Life is like a drive in the country. Never mind if the seatbelt is buckled or the mirror is properly adjusted. Just sit back and enjoy the ride.". Yesterday was such a ride.
I awoke in the middle of the night with an answer I have long sought. Why should I believe in God? I have read and studied for so long and where is the proof? God gets nothing if a drudge like me believes. The answer came. I believe because I want to believe. It feels so good to believe. It is a reason that Pascal overlooked. I still don't know about all of the other trappings of religion but the basic premise is there for me. I think the answer came from Kristen. I asked her several questions, about things I have been pondering, and the answers she gave were crystal clear. She is aware of all of the alternatives that exist and has gone right to the gist of the whole subject. I believe because I want to!
I am concerned for all three of my daughters. They seem to share a common complication. Their lives are so busy. They seem to share their Mother's attention to detail, never glossing over a problem but addressing it immediately until it is solved. Not like their father whose philosophy seems to be "Life is like a drive in the country. Never mind if the seatbelt is buckled or the mirror is properly adjusted. Just sit back and enjoy the ride.". Yesterday was such a ride.
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