There are times and there are places in my mind that I won't go. This morning I had occasion to visit one of them. It was a tumultuous and extended time. I had put the dark portion out of my mind for a long time.
I am auditing how my life has changed. There was extreme bliss but there also seemed to be a crisis every day. None of the crisises were overwhelming. Most of them were the teapot types of tempests.
It was not easy to become accustomed to this new way of life. It is now. "I eat when I'm hungry, I drink when I'm dry, and if moonshine don't kill me, I'll live till I die.".
There is no one peeking over my shoulder, lamenting that I have not achieved what others have. I have sufficient resources to live a simple life. I feed two squirrels each day. I cook whatever I feel like cooking. If I want tomatoes and elbow macaroni, I have it. If I want chocolate cake, I have it. If I want steak, I have it. If I want to relish a nice bottle of Port, I indulge.
It all seems to boil down to one realization. There is no way to get out of this life alive. There are only two experiences common to all human beings. You are born and you die. Whatever happens during the interval is up to you. Bhudda said "You are your own master.".
I have one forlorn hope that I am sure will never come true. If it does there will be an abundance of bliss.
I have one rule that I try to always follow. I try to keep my nose out of other people's business. I also try to keep their noses out of mine. I don't have much business of my own but what I do have is closely guarded.
There are a lot of loose women in this town. I don't mean morally loose but they are unattached due to divorce or death. It seems to bother quite a few of them that I am wandering around loose. Some of them have taken an inordinate interest in my business. I have only one response to their inquiries. "Let me tell you about my business. My business is My Business!".
This very pleasant life is winding down. Soon will come the long grey night. The interval has been worth living. It was filled with rapture and sorrow, triumph and disappointment. It has not always been pleasant but it has always been interesting.
I leave behind one legacy. I was part of producing the three most wonderful people that I have ever met, my three daughters. I will close now as I could go on and on for pages about the wonder of my children. Each of them is their own person. They each have found their own path. They are funny, they are bright, they can be pensive and they can be silly. The thing that I am most proud of is that they are never mean. Each of them possesses an ascerbic wit but they keep it in check and do no harm with their tongues.
Besides them, I will leave behind the KitchenAid mixer and the red coat. It is enough.
Monday, May 16, 2011
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment