Presents

Rix got a present Sunday and so did Nils. Nils's present was seeing Kristen. Rix may enjoy being with me but not as much as I enjoy being with him. It is just like being with Kristen when she was that age. The same easiness, the same niceness, and the same mind constantly observing and working. Walking along holding the hand of a little blond human being, a blessing I have had four times in my life. Five times if I count my brother, who was once little if one can believe that. I watched Rix's mind work as he took the word train and put different letters in the beginning to make new words. He didn't do it with Playskool letters on a refrigerator, he did it with his mind. It reminded me of our adventures with Sammy the Snake. He will have no problem with mathematics, he already has the tools. No man stands taller than when he stoops to take the hand of a child. Kristen, not even two years old, calling out the letters S and P from the salt and pepper shakers. Kristen, calling out the word exit from a sign in a store. Memories etched in my mind. Poor Alan, he is going to be up late at night finding out why the sky is blue because the question is coming. It came for me three times but knowing Alan the answer is already there. Then there will be FACTORING, the dreaded factoring. Daddies have to know or at least pretend that they do, it's their job. It isn't any easier when Mommy already knows. Alan will find that out. Watching a child marvel at the display of light from a prism. The good days go too fast and soon will come a bicycle and then a car and Daddy is no longer sought out for answers, Daddy is simply Mr. Know-it-all. The wrinkles from the peas are now on Daddy's brow. The saddest day is the first day the child gets onto a school bus, for that is the beginning of the journey on which the child learns that Daddy has the feet of a Babylonian god. I was lucky, mine never did, he always knew. He sat up many nights explaining things to me that I was sure he could never understand because it was the NEW mathematics. New, as in Newton? Walk with me, down the road of history. Hear the symphony whose theme, is the song of Man.

A day to remember

Yesterday was a day that I hope I will long remember. The Sun shone and my heart was at peace. I got to see three people that I love and respect. I watched a young man deal with surprise and disappointment in a way we should all emulate. When he was surprised, joy and happiness beamed forth from him. When he was disappointed, I am not sure he was disappointed but an older more jaded person would have been, he just accepted it and moved on. There was no whining and crying and wheedling. He showed me how to make a snowman in the house. I finally made something that seemed to please a cook whose opinion is important to me. Her husband concurred and that boy really knows cooking. Thank you Lidia! I found a walking companion whose pace is the same as mine, a pace similar to an arthritic snail. On our walk we met a friend of mine. My friend later remarked "Your wife must be beautiful, for your daughter certainly didn't get it from you.". It was a day full of joy with no disappointment.
I awoke in the middle of the night with an answer I have long sought. Why should I believe in God? I have read and studied for so long and where is the proof? God gets nothing if a drudge like me believes. The answer came. I believe because I want to believe. It feels so good to believe. It is a reason that Pascal overlooked. I still don't know about all of the other trappings of religion but the basic premise is there for me. I think the answer came from Kristen. I asked her several questions, about things I have been pondering, and the answers she gave were crystal clear. She is aware of all of the alternatives that exist and has gone right to the gist of the whole subject. I believe because I want to!
I am concerned for all three of my daughters. They seem to share a common complication. Their lives are so busy. They seem to share their Mother's attention to detail, never glossing over a problem but addressing it immediately until it is solved. Not like their father whose philosophy seems to be "Life is like a drive in the country. Never mind if the seatbelt is buckled or the mirror is properly adjusted. Just sit back and enjoy the ride.". Yesterday was such a ride.

Tiny town

This tiny town is different from most places I have lived. Each day when I walk, I pass people who smile and say "Good Morning." or "How are you today?". There is none of the hustle and bustle of most places I have lived.
I used to live in a town where most of the people were very well off financially. They would pass and say "How ARE you today?" which seemed simply obligatory for them and another chance to sound like Kathryn Hepburn. They spent their lives worrying about losing what they had instead of noticing what they had. They spent their time doing the right thing, saying the right thing, wearing the right thing, and being controlled by the modes of the day. They were no more in control of their lives than Howdy Doody was. They were Marionettes.
This little town has several monuments to those that served in all the conflicts this country has experienced, from the Revolution to the first Gulf conflict. The same last names are on all of them. A little tiny town, somewhat insulated from the modes of the day, just flows on and on, like the river that runs through it. There is a quietness and humility here that belies the strength that lies beneath it. It is not exciting, it is just the definition of nice.

Sunday

Dear Kristen,
Sunday is perfect. Please remember to bring the steamer insert. Spring is here, the robins are on the lawn, the squirrels are bustling all over the place, and the Red Sox won the opener. Life is good.

Kristen

Sweetheart, next weekend would be wonderful. Please let me know which day. You have really brightened my day. Now I will be Ambrosius instead of Arthur. I already have the table.

Post posts

I woke up this morning, at 1:30 A.M., with an overpowering urge to delete the last two posts in this blog. There is a show on television, yes I am still watching television, about a man that drives a UPS truck. His father-in-law lives in his cellar. The father-in-law is as crazy as a loon, constantly raving about inequities and imagined slights. He is sure that the world is conspiring against him. His name is Arthur. I don't want to be like Arthur. My life is good. My children are healthy, I am free from pain, I have a full belly and a warm place to sleep. I have enough resources to make it through each month. Life is good.
There were times in my life when I was happier than I am now but I didn't realize it at the time. Life was too hectic and there was the constant desire to do better. I look back now and realize the high points of my life. The day I was wed, the days each of my children were born, and the day my brother became my friend. Each of these days have one thing in common. They are family related. I was raised in a community that stressed the acquisition of knowledge. I have lived most of my life surrounded by the Paradise of family and still sought out Knowledge. I think there is a book that addresses this issue.

One more resolution gone south

Once more a resolution I made withered on the vine. I was asked for help by my new dependent and gave it. I told him that this would be the last time and received a new litany of his new troubles and stories about the neighbors. He is very negative about the neighbors and seems overly involved in their lives. I have met all of the neighbors and they seem like nice people. If there is one thing that they have in common it is that they are all hard working people that are striving to survive in a world that constantly makes more demands on them. They all share the dream that I have always had. They have given up on getting ahead and dream of staying even. I pray each night, not for a blessing but just for no further disappointment. Becker's elastic is always watching.
The news of each day becomes more disturbing. The economy is in a shambles, the new elite of America are Hollywood stars and billionaires, and the simple moral values of this immigrant nation are rapidly becoming those that led to the downfall of ancient Rome and Greece. You can tell a lot about a society by how it spends its money. Care for widows, orphans, the elderly, and the disabled used to be high on our list of priorities. Now the top items are potato chips, bottled water, wars, and caring for investment bankers. The government seems to be caring for the voters of today but what about their children and grandchildren? The problem I see is that the government has a huge credit card, not a debit card. They make the minimum payment each month and the debt rises. I had hopes that a return to a Democratic regime would start rebuilding towards the surplus that was left by President Clinton. True to form, the Democrats seem to be self destructing. It would seem to be easy to find someone that could overcome the Republican administration, given their performance so far. We can't expect an F.D.R but a Truman or a Clinton would be nice. It is not going to happen. The republicans have a candidate that seems like O.D. O'Colgny who doesn't have to say anything nasty about the Democratic candidate. The Democrats are doing that themselves as they slowly self-destruct. The old adage rings true: " I am not a member of an organized political party, I am a Democrat.". Where is the old yellow dog when we need him? Can a person be President more than two terms if they are not consecutive? It would be nice to hear the soothing sounds of a saxophone emanating from the White House instead of the constant blaring of a bugle sounding the charge. President Bush is overseeing the bailout of the poor people that have mortgages of $700,000.00 while Jimmy Carter builds homes for the homeless. Bear Stearns and the savings and loan debacle come to us courtesy of Republican money experts that made their reputations using other people's money. Warren Buffet and Bill Gates made their fame using their own money and are using it to help the disadvantaged. Wouldn't it be nice to see one of them living in that big White public housing in Washington D.C.? I shuddered to read that the Bear Stearns loan may have to be adjusted in the future. Oh great, the government now has an ARM.